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| Elouise82 2008-05-08 ch 2,  | abuseSuch a beautiful passage, a reminder of hope to finish what could have been a completely devastating chapter. A few thoughts: I like Emily's idea of the Walkers as a "puke-worthy" family, and how their kindness forces the reader to look past that stereotype. Her comment about being "spiritual but not religious" is also completely in character, and so (sadly) true for so many of this generation. The MIT student also broke away from stereotypes, by being more spiritual than skeptical. As always, your use of details is impressive. The salt in the olive oil, the thin, nearly-translucent pages of Mrs. Walker's New Testament, Battersby's Budweiser t-shirt ... so many little things that add such life and depth to the story. |
| under the influence 2008-05-08 ch 2, | abuseHow funny...the last passage you quoted was one I studied earlier this week...hm... By the by, there is no Florida U--either the University of Florida (go go Gators!) or Florida State. Although now that I'm thinking about it, you probably had a reason for doing that...don't mind me. Anyway, great chapter as usual :)...if I favorite this story, it's not going to disappear, is it? |
| Elouise82 2008-05-07 ch 1, | abuseOnce again, you pack a lot of punch into the opening chapter of a story! I think my favorite part of this was when Emily commented on Tobias' name--after what she'd just gone through, that's the last thing you expect her to think of or say, but it just made the scene so real (because people in real life never do react the way one would expect). I like the dribbles of background we get on Emily, as well, giving us insight into her personality without overwhelming us with facts. Looking forward to more ... |
| under the influence 2008-05-06 ch 1, | abusevery interesting beginning...looking forward to more... |