Reviews for Alatus - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Alatus

Teffie 2008-05-22 ch 1,	abuseIntriguing. This story has major potential. I really like the world you've created here, as well the characters you've put in it! Gerald is my favorite. (His bounty being for his good looks? Awesome!) There were a few grammar errors I noticed: "“Have you ever heard of Black Lock?” (h)e asked" The first word after a quote is lower case, unless it's a proper noun. "Puzzled, Gerald replied, his words heavy, “I don’t know.”" "Bella’s own bounty was about only half of Gerald’s, and(,) unlike Gerald, she didn’t want it at all." "Gerald reached down and grabbed the (covers), throwing (it) aside," Should either be "cover" or "them." For some reason, you've got these symbols inserted into your story: . I don't know what that's about. Overall, a few more sensory details would be nice. I liked your character development. Hope you update soon!
JoeyJinxstar 2008-05-05 ch 1,	abusei really liked it and i'm interested in reading more. great job =]
DigitalScripter 2008-05-05 ch 1,	abuseI have to say I actually liked this. The idea of pirates in the sky seems interesting. Your grammer was fine from what I saw. Some more descriptions would have helped out. For example I know Gerald is big but that's about it. Other then that I'll be sure to check out the next chapter and maybe even put it on my alert list if I get into it.