It's good, but I think you could improve it by varying and elevating your verbiage. For instance, instead of using the word "ugly" repeatedly, you could try "hideous" or "revolting" - simple changes that can make a big difference.

Keep writing :)

This... is ugly. But before you kill me, let me finish. the beauty of this piece is in the uglyness, evocative imagery, and vile tone. In my mind, it accomplishes exactly what it should. Great job!

Live forever, or die trying!!