I like it. It's cute.
My compliments to your friend.

I really, really appreciate this story.
I'm a Christian, and I actually agree with so much you point out in this piece. Most "Christians" do absolutely nothing Christ-like, and it gives a horrible name to those of us who really want to... help, for lack of a better word.
Big time props.

P.S. There was only one real error I found. You don't have the opening quotations before "You hold the symbol of my Goddess there..." Other than that, I think it's just stylistic things and wording that, as the author, only you can edit. Good luck with it. : )
Much love.