FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Almsivi 2008-06-21 ch 1,  | abuseI like the creativity you use here. The flow was a little disjointed in the beginning, but was better in the second half. The last line is my favorite. Good job! |
| simpleplan13 2008-05-24 ch 1, | abuseFirst off love the title because I had a teacher in hs who used this word all the time! A girl, she is/I hate her... I might separate that with a period I want this to end,/On the other hand,.. again a period after end I was convicted as a murder;.. murderer Really interesting story... I like it a lot. The whole story behind this is intriguing and well done. PS If youre bored today check out the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my profile) |
| Flaran 2008-05-13 ch 1, | abuseI liked your short lines and how you used line endings to make a point. Sometimes, to me, it didn't flow logically very well. Overall I liked it pretty well though. Keep up writing stuff like this :) |
| Scarlett Tarte 2008-05-11 ch 1, | abuseThis was a very interesting topic. The punctuation sort of bothered me. At times, it seemed sort of nonsensical. Like, "I hate her. Because she looks like me." Maybe get rid of the first period? But I suppose that's your opinion. Overall, I liked it. (: Good piece. |
| LadyBlood 2008-05-10 ch 1, | abuseNice poem...Your style of rhyming is interesting...Poem has an interesting subject... |
| Kiss.Today.Goodbye 2008-05-09 ch 1, | abuseIntriguing, but I felt it lacked the power and emotion that is conveyed in some of your other pieces. I liked the scattered rhyme. That helped keep a good rhythm. (review game) |
| A. M. Bussuvanno 2008-05-07 ch 1, | abuseWow, this seems pretty different from everything else I've read of yours. Morbid...but awesome nonetheless... -Autumn |