FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| VI DO ALTEANS 2008-07-05 ch 1,  | abuseAuthors like you makes me have high hopes for this site. (smile) Your imagery and character depiction stands strong for readers, showing some restraint for the narration isn't "all-knowing". I like that. I could also see (from the first chapter) this being more of a 28 days later fanfiction since some of the characters are in the film--aside from Lucia, who I am assuming is an original character? Nevertheless, Lucia's character is the more prominent figure in this chapter. Thus, I assume she will be the protagonist of this story. You have done a great job in thoroughly describing her, but don't forget to add some more detail to the other characters, as well (Jim, Selena, Hannah) I can see you dabble into describing Selena as a "goddess", but avoid being too repetitive. For a story such as detailed as yours, "goddess" seems a bit broad. I'll check out your other chapters soon, more people should read this story. I like where it's headed. And I hope it's more interesting than the films. (laugh) Keep up the good work. review by. Kira |
| Red Red Kroovy 2008-05-10 ch 1, | abusethis should really be on |