Ok... it's hard to tell where the chorus ends... maybe bold the whole chorus or separate it out with x or something.

What the hell I was thinking?... was I

I like how you switch from rose to raindrop because it was really interesting. I also love the last line and the title was really interesting. Nice job!

PS If youre bored today check out the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my profile)

Okay, this really had nothing to do with Pancakes.

Oh well.

This song's chorus is great and I love the fierce descriptions in the whole song. The words feel unique and were definitely highlights. This would go great with music; I can picture the lyrics being sung easily.

Great job with this one. It was a treat.