FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| misery sister 2008-05-12 ch 1,  | abuseI thought this was a pretty good beginning - but I think you shoudl space out your paragraphs. You should space out your dialogue too, so we know who's tlaking, and when he/she's talking. Also, space out scenes so we can process everything properly. |
| L.speake 2008-05-10 ch 1, | abuseHaha. While I was reading this, I really did think of The Little Mermaid a lot. I love that movie. This is roxas-kh, aka Lydia btw. I did have an account on here before, but I couldn't sign in so I had to make a new account. I like the Harry Potter reference too about her tears not being Phoenix tears... good book. I like the character Leafe too. Her name is so pretty. Makes me think of... oh what's it's name?? The book that you wanted me to read about a girl named Green I think and after a fire she was called Ash. I really can't remember it's name right now. But I loved it. What happened to Leafe is really sad though... I feel so sorry for her... Anyway, you did a great job on this and I cannot wait to see more!! |