|Reviews for Kevavi|
| Krystal Watters 1/2/13 . chapter 1
two feet by two - why not say "about two feet square" instead?
A light but heavy, stagnant darkness did not hang in the room, it simply was - intriguingly worded, but I think it's a bit cumbersome. Starting with an oxymoron and then following with something that the darkness is *not* just looses me completely as a reader. Too much of a mental labyrinth.
screaming angels in the gold, and rams and lions also - it feels like rams and lions are a second thought here... try to incorporate it more fully.
into a flaming heap which looked like an isosceles triangle - this is a bit strange... why do we as readers need to know the specific shape of the triangle?
offense at this, and took up their elevated brother as a hero and a god - I think "offence" may be the wrong word here.
Your story is very unique, and some of the descriptions are wonderful, but they often get stuck with some plain description or they go a step too far.
Also, I get a feeling that this was symbolic, but there aren't too many hints as to what's the symbolism.