nice i like it add me to your community thanks

also read my stuff on my profile please leave reveiws

it's so short and simple that it comes across as cryptic to me. I think it could benefit from expansion or further exploration of the ideas you suggest.

hi !

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Maybe you could write more, this definitely has potential! I like the alliterative aspect of line three... Perhaps make line one have some kind of slightly separated alliteration too, to make the poem's format be:

- Distanced alliteration (A) [this doesn't necessarily have to be a repeated "p" sound...]

- Rhyme (B)

- Distanced alliteration (A)

- Rhyme (B)

-W. Griffin

A lot there in those four lines ;-)

Really should expand on your thoughts & make it longer, this has A LOT of potential...I agree with it :) Also, maybe consider changing the second line...I don't think "joy" really describes racism. Nice job.

-A Raindrop's Shadow