|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Nemonus 2008-05-10 ch 1, | abuseGood. Interesting formatting (I read it thrice, once the whole thing, and then only every other line). It's got deep themes about thinking itself, but is a little vague. Ending the first part with a commanding tone was a clever way to really pull the reader in at the end--good job. You do need an apostraphe in "shes" in the last line. |
| Isca 2008-05-09 ch 1, | abuseInteresting (in a good way of course)! |
| aicilef 2008-05-08 ch 1, | abuseWow, I really like that. |
| Butterfly Masquerade 2008-05-08 ch 1, | abuseThat was amazing. I love the duality going on with the interspersed lines and how the ending ties back into all of it. Keep up the good work! |