FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Eilinora 2008-05-08 ch 1,  | abuseSelf-insert Mary-Sue trash. Also, who calls people alphabetically by first names? |
| wingedauthoress 2008-05-08 ch 1, | abusefirst of all, i must say that this is a really interesting story topic, and that i'm eager to read more ^-^ second of all, a little description would be nice- and i understand it's tough to write a description when you're writing in first person, but it comes in handy for the reader's sake. third of all (and this is the last one, i promise!) God's dialogue is... interesting; and by that, i mean... it's not exactly what i was expecting, like some of the word choices didn't seem like stuff God would say, but then again, who's to say that's what He actually says? lol sorry- maybe i'm being too critical. anyways, love it so far- please update! |