FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Rainbow Pineapple 2008-05-23 ch 1,  | abuseOkay... that was... interesting... Not too bad for a first story, but I don't think that this was really a kids story, what with Fred dying, the cat threatening to make Jeff into a pie, and then Jeff kiling the cat. |
| Ms. Critic 2008-05-14 ch 1, | abuseWell. Your first story. Sounds oddly familiar... only its with animals, not josh or muffins. Lego boy we must have a discussion. This is not a little kids story. This is not a big kids story. Its ok I guess, as long as you swear you weren't influenced by another story... whatever. Keep working at it. |
| Double AA 2008-05-14 ch 1, | abuseUhh... A few mistakes, but other wise, I guess it's ok for someone your age... |
| LilNanny 2008-05-12 ch 1, | abuseGreat story! Hahahahahaha! I don't think it's a good kids story but who cares! |