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| simpleplan13 2008-05-18 ch 1, | abuseturned out in a lie... that's an awkward phrase And some of the punctuation seemed a bit off. Also, I'm not a big fan of italicizing the whole piece without a real reason... Anyhow I do really like the ending (though it's a question and should end with a question mark) because it's a really good question. I also like going from today to tomorrow. Nicely done. |
| ticktockman 2008-05-09 ch 1, | abuseI love it but it seems so depressing. to answer the poem, I think it is a beginning. |
| MyWorldisBlack 2008-05-09 ch 1, | abusewow! well written poem! |
| Miser Meaku 2008-05-09 ch 1, | abuseVery poignant approach to the topic. It's short length if effective, I think. Good job. :) |