This was a very enjoyable read...the imagery was strong, and I like how you drew away from the concrete infrastructure ("The gray slopes towering over it are forgotten") to a more naturalistic setting, calling forth the presence of the hill and the lions. Metaphorical in every sense of the word, I think. If it wouldn't be too much to ask, could you explain the theme to me? I have my own take on it, but I just kind of want a more direct translation...it's bothering me, for some reason. X/

-Ramen

I don't know how I overlooked this one.
Ever sense your first poem you posted I loved your work.
I like the new forms of expression your using
beautiful as ever.
The only thing I would change, not that its a flaw by any means, I would remove the last word.

I love the wording you used, and the last light is fantastic!
Keep it up! ^-^

Interesting comparison. I like the earthy feel to it. I don't really understand what the title has to do with the poem itself, but maybe that's just something I'm missing. Very interesting poem, though. Keep writing! :)

who kid.. I like your imagery a lot, fits in quite well I must say. The last line is earnest, yet a bit trite, but I think it fits in just fine. Nothing wrong with cliches as long as you don't abuse them (aah.. i love irony - cliches that haven't been abused :p).

PS Thursday/Envy split album. I am pretty stoked about this

The last line was absolutely amazing. You're a talented writer!