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| California Castaway 2008-05-12 ch 1, | abuseVery nice imagery and use of rhyming. Often times people who rhyme in their poems come across as sing-songy, but you definently did not do that. Nicely done! |
| LoKi 7000 2008-05-11 ch 1, | abuseThe use of describers painted a scene in my mind, mainly because it was so adjective heavy. I think a different rhyme scheme would have helped though, mainly because of format issues. |