Reviews for Picking Petals Off a Daisy

Reviews For: Picking Petals Off a Daisy

inkspatters 2008-07-06 ch 1,	abuseI'm glad that you have random bouts of inspiration. That was the sweetest thing that I've read for a long time. I do like Softly Strumming His Guitar better but I think that's just because there was more of it, haha. So, I liked the way you started and ended with the 'He loves me' thing - that was a poetic little touch. Also, there is just something about the way you write that has this wonderful, dreamlike quality to it. I imagined all of this stuff that wasn't even there when I read that. It felt kind of nostalgic somehow and I don't even know if I'm making sense. That's just the way that I felt. Anyway, I really loved this. Your stories are SO sweet, it's amazing. Hope you get another 3am bout of inspiration soon.
Bottled Cans 2008-06-17 ch 1,	abuseSure, a stereotypical awkward teenage love situation, but none-the-less well captured. Well done!
Erocdrah 2008-06-11 ch 1,	abuseI like that last part with the last remaining petal and how it blends with what was happening in the story. However, I don't like how wishy-washy the "admittance" felt. "I like you", "I like you, too". The reader slaps his forehead and turns away from his computer, moaning "sorry, I must go throw up now." The usual technical checks are fine. Nothing bad to report. For a prologue it was good, in that it was sort of different. Usually, the star struck lovers don't admit their feelings until around the climax, but here you have them doing it up front. Make me really wonder what the story is going to be about. Clearly, my interest is piqued. Well, great start, except for the "I like you like you" part.
SparklingStar25 2008-05-12 ch 1,	abuseaww..so sweet!
starlit x sky 2008-05-11 ch 1,	abuseVery cute! Short and sweet, I liked it.
centenarian 2008-05-11 ch 1,	abuseShort and sweet. Nice.
SamanthaNicole 2008-05-10 ch 1,	abuseOkay, before I say anything, you may want to change the title of this. Pedals are what you find on a bike; Petals are what you find on a flower ;-) You use it the same way in the story, too, so I wanted to make sure you knew to change that as well. That being said, I rather enjoyed this. One needs a bit of fluff every now and then! Your imagery in the beginning is good, and you used the work 'gossamer!' More people should. It's a good word ;-) One thing you may want to look at is repetition. You use a lot of the same words within one sentence, and it kind of detracts from what's going on. For example: [I’ve been meaning to find the path you have that gets you here. Hearing you talk about it, even briefly, made me curious. I see why you always come here.] That's a lot of 'you's'. You could maybe make it flow a bit better by trying something like: ["I've been meaning to find the path that gets you here. You talk about it so often, that I was curious." He glanced around then, smiling appreciatively. "I can see why you always come here."] In any case, this was cute. You should like it. You really should. Love, Sammy

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