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| Siilvery Miind 2008-07-22 ch 1,  | abusei liked the first chappie. update soon i like the idea |
| Ash Algood 2008-06-29 ch 1, | abuseClairivoinet (dont now how 2 spell it) is super special awesome. U rush into shocking revelations very fast, its kind of weird but its not bad. One story is vampires, one story is dragons, whats next? |
| Hallucinogenic Poison 2008-06-13 ch 1, | abuseYou got into this way way way too quickly. You should span out a lot of time before you actually head into something like this; it just looks a little rushed. However, with a lot of reviewing it could turn into something great! |
| An Inside Joke 2008-06-07 ch 1, | abuseYOu introduce a lot of charecters and ideas very quckly, so it's hard to get to know the charecters or get into the story before you start throwing new information at us. I feel like a lot of this could be fleshed out, and you could take more time with charecter development. |
| Sebastian Osprey 2008-05-25 ch 1, | abuseNice concept; a little confusing, but still interesting. I can't be certain, but it looks like you haven't put spaces after any of the full stops (periods). It'd help the flow a lot if you did. Keep up the cool writing! Osprey |
| Drazen Wyvern 2008-05-12 ch 1, | abuseOk, unlike someone else who reviewed (don't care about her name) this story did NOT have a mary sue. And it still doesn't! It kinda looks like that cause, Holli-chan, there is one slight problem with this (and as far as I know,you are aware of this): You are being hasty! It's a good thing that you're making descriptions, but they are a bit short. I'm not telling you to write 20 lines about her hair ofcourse! Just an extra word or 4 or putting it in a different way will do. Also, like your other stories, you squeeze too much into one chapter. Try to extend stuff. Like this time, you could have put the ''you're a dragon rider'' in the next chapter, cause it seems way too hasty now. God I sound like a Mr. Know-almost-everything... Which, if you read my stories, am not. Mine are full of mistakes as well, so don't hate me! ^.^ Your friend, Lio ^.^ |
| Edalene Athene 2008-05-11 ch 1, | abuseGood story line, the chap was a perfect length. Gramar was a little funny at the start but got much better towards the end. |
| Eilinora 2008-05-11 ch 1, | abuseStupid angsty Mary-Sue trash. |