Reviews for He Was a King Part One

Reviews For: He Was a King Part One

Joshua Thorson 2008-08-22 ch 2,	abuseInteresting. The storyteller hook in Chapter 1 worked well; this bit is just as intriguing. Your writing is strong so far. I'll be back for more. :-) ~JT
Tawny Owl 2008-08-10 ch 6,	abuseI liked the lie to live and love to lie comment that Malik makes, and that he wants to see how long it will take for the soldier to find a way out. Laith seems to be getting more complicated - She seemed much more unguarded when she was talking to Malik, not her usual forth right self. Her interest in seeing Aredt was unexpected as well. is that intentional or just me? I've left quite a gap bewtween reading this and the later chapters.
Tawny Owl 2008-07-03 ch 5,	abuse“No fighting in of doors,” – stood out because its seemed like a strange way to say it, but at the same time seemed how Gare would say it – if that makes sense? It added to his character anyway. I did get a bit confused between Malik and Luke until right at the end because they seemed to have very similar characters. Was that intentional though –because you did point out that they have a habit of finishing each other’s sentences. Malik’s test of Treal was good as well – you seem to have a talent for doing things like that and making them believable. Treals fight with Aredt was a bit like that as well. I like the idea of the thieves’ village in the trees though – and that they actually have to move through the trees to get there.
Tawny Owl 2008-06-30 ch 4,	abuseSo who is your favourite character and why? You’ll have to let me know when I come across him/her “Shall we begin?” he said softly. “I have many things to do today.” It would be easier if he got it over with quickly. Kill and get out… missing speech marks, but I loved the comment - really harsh! Liked the fight between Treal and the thief – and the way they both decided they didn’t want to kill the other it was very believable. I enjoy reading about Aredt actually – although I think because he is so mysterious, and he does behave as though he was a noble at sometime. He seems very dignified, even with an arrow in him.
Tawny Owl 2008-06-25 ch 3,	abuseGot a bit carried away and read three chapters in one go. The story was a good way to set up the story. It also make me wonder if Amell and his father will have another part to play later on? The bit with Ryden was interesting as well. Implies that he is still about and is trying to get the sword back. It feels like the story has already happened and we are looking at the aftermath. It makes it more original, plus I like things that look at perceptions of reality like that. Does that make sense? You built up the tension before the robbery really well, and I got a real feel for the character of the thief. Actually all the characters came over really well. Laith was very in control and imperious, and Aemar didn’t say much, but you did give the impression that there was more to him then meets the eye. I like the way you have set up the characters and the beginning of the story but there still haven’t really given us any answers. It makes me want to read more anyway….
T.J.WIBBS08 2008-06-09 ch 2,	abuseYou have an original and complex story that has a lot of potential. So keep writing because I will read it ALL!
Winged Templar 2008-06-06 ch 4,	abuseOH SNAPS! I was expecting Aredt to be like a general or something, but an heir to the throne? Go figure Kaide getting it made him so sore. Wow. I really like this story. Very good work here. I'm somewhat confused with the whole Ryden thing, but I'm pretty sure that will all smooth itself out as I keep reading. Good job again!
fantasywriter22 2008-06-05 ch 2,	abuseSo, does that mean he is immortal? If so, I thought he could only be immortal when he held the sword? Another good, but short chapter, which is fine because all stories need a short chapter. :) -Read more tomorrow.
fantasywriter22 2008-06-05 ch 1,	abuseReturning the favor! :) But, unfortunatly, I can't critique it, because I don't think it needs to be changed and I didn't see a single mistake. This story, so far as I can see, is completly original. The is perhaps a Lord of the Ring-ish feel to it, but only a feel and not anywhere near along the same story line. Anyways, I'm going to read one more chapter for today and read more tomorrow. :)
perrinette 2008-05-23 ch 24,	abuseYour story is excellent! The plot is very good, your characters interesting...A very enjoyable reading!
For What Its Worth 2008-05-17 ch 2,	abuseNice. Very nicely placed. Little boy hearing a story, the story then coming alive, and now on to the quest! Ryden, however, seems either insane, or decent. I'm not sure which. So if you were going for one or the other, it doesn't exactly come across. Which one is he?
For What Its Worth 2008-05-17 ch 1,	abuseOkay,I definitely prefer this beginning! It is really cute. The bit where Amell thinks "A magic sword!", though, sounds slightly disjointed. Question: Are you rewriting all the chapters, or just select ones?
DigitalScripter 2008-05-13 ch 1,	abuseAlright idea I guess. I'm going to say that the sword will be the grail the characters will go on their quest for. I don't know why you have so few reviews, the story isn't all too bad.

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