FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| dragonflydreamer 2008-05-13 ch 1,  | abuseThis is a very beautiful hiaku. You used some wonderful vocabulary here and it was nice to start with that alliteration. I can practically see the ocean as I read this. Great job! :D |
| mapin 2008-05-13 ch 1, | abuse'evoking late memories' wow! this three-line haiku envisions a serene scene in a BEACH. |
| Flaran 2008-05-12 ch 1, | abuseI like the word choices. Lazing long winter the mind revives sand-warmed toes and ocean calmed heart |
| massattraction 2008-05-12 ch 1, | abuseNice mood, it captures a certain "nostalgia" if you will, i would take out the bold and italics though, let the reader put the emphasis on what they feel stands out. It'll carry more power that way. well done =] |
| Moondog Dozier 2008-05-12 ch 1, | abuseVisual, with the movement of thought that a good haiku should have. Interesting burst at the end line. Well done. |