FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Smiling Serenade 2008-08-20 ch 1,  | abuseI love the "-eam" rhyme that carries throughout the poem. It's repetitive and catchy. I enjoyed reading it. (: |
| painted eyes 2008-07-10 ch 1, | abuseVery random. It reminds me of a song. I particularly liked the line 'Like cookies and cream' as though its cliched, it seemed perfect. It reminds me of a nursery rhyme when I read the last line. Its all really innocent! Right down to the 'they can make prett babies'. Really funny. Keep up the good work! |
| simpleplan13 2008-06-14 ch 1, | abuseI dont like how the beginning isn't double spaced, but the ending is. That seemed odd. I liked the beginning because it was really funny. I think maybe in the beginning separate those lines 3 and 3 since the first three are about her and the second about him and then the last four about them together. Just a thought. PS. If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile) |
| DarkLove 2008-06-09 ch 1, | abuseLol. That's a pretty funny & curious poem. I like it. |
| visvisvivimvi 2008-05-25 ch 1, | abusethis sounds like it could be the chorus from a paramore song (thats a good thing). 'and they both go together like cookies and cream' :). one thing. you can hear the girls scream seem a little bit out of place. maybe because the lines above it are all shorter. catchy poem. |
| xLittleBlackConverse. 2008-05-23 ch 1, | abuseHaha this was different from the rest of your poetry that I've read but I enjoyed it very much =] It seemed a bit random though, but I liked that. |
| Drallimer 2008-05-12 ch 1, | abuselordy lou my cheesy friend, i'm glad you've descended from that dark cloud of depth hanging over your neurosis. i like this. it's cute and sarcastic and caustic. |