FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Ramenluver 2008-06-10 ch 1,  | abuseI really, really like this. ^ ^ All I can suggest is that you soften the transition between the lines: "all you have is a memory" and "when Love in her innocence" and "introduced us to Pain" and "i may never get to sing again" because the subject changed in those lines rather abrubtley, and I think maybe you should add a line or two in order to make the transition a bit smoother. -Ramen |