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| Averybarbarian 2008-06-13 ch 1,  | abusesad... but fairly true there are those who lose hope in those whom they love. I liked how you worded it. I especially like the line "Hope has taken flight on broken wings." It relays the loss of hope. Good job |
| Scarlett Wynter 2008-05-23 ch 1, | abuse"bright one" reminded me of God, so when the last line said that the narrator couldn't even get out of bed for God, I really felt the emotion come across. the only thing I'm not crazy about in this poem is the use of the word "something" twice, I feel like another word could have been used, but I don't know what, so perhaps it's just best the way it is. lol. |
| NJ Is My Home 2008-05-18 ch 1, | abusereally sweet and sad..very good |
| Nemonus 2008-05-13 ch 1, | abuseSad. This sounds like a monologue, and it works as such, although you do need to work on rhythm. "Bright One" is a fine thing to call a love. |
| AK the Twilight 2008-05-13 ch 1, | abuseThe thing that confuses me about this poem is the dedication. I can't seem to see how it could be dedicated to two people, because...well...I just can't see how. It's beautiful, rather short, and mildly intricate. I've read your other work and find this poem a bit middle-road compared, but it's great to dedicate your work, regardless of its obscurity. Good job. |
| Aelfin 2008-05-13 ch 1, | abuseThis is so sad, i love how its so simple and yet you've still put your message across. It's the kind of poem that will stay with me for a long time, haunting =] 'So, I woke up this morning, and couldn’t get out of bed. Not even for you.' a familiar feeling ^^ Aw and you dedicated it to me! Your amazing. Aelfi x |