FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| prick 2008-05-14 ch 1,  | abuseOkay wow. I actually really genuinely did NOT see that coming. It was really sad and sweet at the same time. Best friendships are so powerful. I like your echo lines. It was all really good. I'm a bit depressed now! |
| kemily 2008-05-13 ch 1, | abuseI. Love. This. I really love this. It captures so well the degeneration of a child. The repeated structure of the beginning of each section--"We were in seventh grade"--really gives it a rhythm, weaves in a sort of sadness regarding time passing in addition to the changes that are happening. It's a really nice stylistic touch. I do think the death in the ending is a bit cliche, to be honest--the friend looking down at the body in the coffin, etc. But the way the memories are constructed, especially in the beginning, do so well in expressing the reminiscences, the nostalgia in relation to the friend's former innocences. The sentence structure and general construction become slightly more generic as time goes on, but the beginning is so strong it doesn't have to be changed. This is an amazing piece, and I really loved it. |