you are amazing, and now one of my favorite authors!

First thanks for the review, been a while since i got one. Next I really like what you did with this piece. Usually I dont like work that is too structured but this was well thought out. The main thing I connected with is the progression of this poem reminds me of a disfunctional relationship. Nails it in fact.

With dis i thnk you need to get one of dem pictures with like landscapes n stuff...and put like one of these and sell them...lol... i really like... ur becomin one with yourself... nice job...have a jah blessed day

...and he said, emancipate your minds from mental slavery!

I like the structure of this--although I would use punctuation more throughout.

"Sacred, a holy place." I thought that was a lovely way to begin the piece :)

The emotions conveyed are honest and lovely.

Keep up the good work,
-Isca

Thanks for your review!

2 things: I would use punctuation in the whole piece, not just after that first line because it would help the flow. I also would not be so repetitive in each stanza, like place twice in the first stanza and away in the third because you don't have that many words in them, so it seems odd.

That said I like the format of the piece, with the one word, it works really well. I like how the emotions change with each stanza and the stanzas reflect that. Nicely done.

PS If you're bored this weekend check out the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my profile)

Very good, I hardly ever see this structure and I must say I did enjoy it.

Safety was my absolute favorite, kudos on a job well done! :D

Aw! That's so beautiful! T_T!

the flow is pretty nice, it's as if you could describe everything you feel and it's honest.

I like the writing format. Each word is represented in clever and knowledgeable ways and when they come together, they tell an interesting story. I personally think that death should be the final one, but the rest of the poem is spot on descriptive and a great job.

You create a linear, though exceptionally written path with each word in this. It illustrates such emotions very well. Great job.