Reviews for Call Me Mr Ted Sky

Ventriloquist
2008-05-25
ch 2,

abuseWOW.

This is like...

Awesome!

I'd say update soon, but some people hate that. LOL.

I think that this is a totally-cool-awesome-great story, and that I don't really have any suggestions/constructive criticism...(or a well rounded critique)

So...well done! you got yourself another faithful reader (me!)

failte200
2008-05-17
ch 1,

abuseIt wasn't all THAT "unrealistic"... although 7'1" IS kind of freakishly tall for a 16 or 17 year old. 6'1 would be more like it. Actually 7'1 is kind of freakishly tall for anyone, at any age. I've seen a guy like that. Gah.

I don't see any warm fuzzies so far, though. Oh, Ted is pleasantly angsty, and personally, *I* think Mark already has the hots for him, but just isn't quite brave enough to break the ice.

You're putting in an awful lot of teen-slang... I can't tell if it's for the sake of the characters or if it's just you. :) But, I'm an old fart (just turned 48 - yeah, older than your dad, I know, I hear it all the damn time) so maybe it's the Wave of the Future...

And DO NOT go changing the POV! Gah - that's such a fan-girl thing to do... You can let us know what's going on with Mark through what he says and does - even if Ted doesn't pick up on it, maybe the readers will. You're the one who decided to go first-person, so now you're stuck like that. Have you even THOUGHT about third? In third-person, you can show how EVERYONE feels, what they're thinking, and explain revelant bits of history the reader needs to know without having to force the main character to day-dream about it.

You're right about one thing, though: dialog rocks, and yours is pretty good.

Poor Ted. Get the fvck over it, boy!

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