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| Amarone. 2008-07-25 ch 1,  | abuseNicely written, I wonder how this would actually sound like in song... The rhyming is good, but its inconsistent, and for me, that sometimes ruins the general flow and rhythm. However, it might sound good when sung, but as a written piece, it's a bit rough. There weren't any vivid words or description, but that's a minor point, as I think the simplicity of it works well enough. Also, you make the situation common enough for many people to relate. All in all, good job. -- Btw, Thanks for the review. :) |
| AK the Twilight 2008-06-30 ch 1, | abuseI couldn't seem to find the perfect rhythm for this song, which was a little disappointing, but this really makes the situation feel true. There's a clenching feeling that this situation occurs in many people's lives, and you definitely nailed it. I liked the sense of not knowing whose fault it is; it adds a degree of mystery to the whole thing. There was a slight lack of descriptive vividity in this, but you definitely made up for it by making the situation so approachable. Overall, good job, and keep up the good work! |
| blacksunflower 2008-05-22 ch 1, | abuseo.o Impressive. I write poems//songs too, but I can't get them to *rhyme*, it's impossibly difficult and complex for me. Did this come out of something you've experienced yourself, or was it just out of the blue? Either way, it's still great~ |
| crazy writer on the loose 2008-05-14 ch 1, | abuseNice :) i love how real you made is seem... very good! CWOTL |