Wow :) This is really good. You captured their emotions well, and it's really effective how you never use names, just "she" and "you". Good work :)

Wow I LOVE this. Best thing I've read in quite a while. Very dark. Well written. Can't believe its a one shot though =[

This seemed a bit melodramatic for a one-shot. An excellent piece of writing, if cushioned between other scenes with less tension, but on its own I think it is harder to be thrown into, as a reader. Try adding a bit more description, rather than just dialogue. There are a few grammar and punctuation mistakes, but I think they are just typos. 'You turned you head', 'your face flicked' (flickERed?), 'bought this on myself', 'your reply' = should be, 'Your reply'. Etc. But I did enjoy reading this. Another interpretation could be that it is more interesting to be thrown into a scene like this, especially an argument, because it is up to the reader to work out what is happening. Anyway. Nice job.