FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Midnight In Eden 2008-06-15 ch 1,  | abuseFirst of all, I really like your use of enjambment here. It's well done and creates a great rhythm. I actually like the line breaks more than the rhyme scheme you've got here which does feel a little forced in places. Couple nitpicks: I think you could get rid of a few of the "empty syllables" in the poem. For example, "our" in line four, "a" in line six. Overall it's a simple poem but it's quite sweet with the last couplet in particular. Simple but something we can all empathise with. Finally, check out the Review Marathon, it's part of the Review Game - there's a link in my profile. Great way to give and receive reviews. Midnight |
| Dreaming in Words 2008-06-04 ch 1, | abuseNice poem! The imagery is lovely. |
| Franziska 2008-05-15 ch 1, | abuseDas Gedicht ist selbst “amazing”, hört sich nach einem “Lob der Schöpfung an, deshalb sicher unter Religion gepostet? |
| Eirien 2008-05-15 ch 1, | abuseThis is truly beautiful, it expresses the wonder of creation and how that points to the Creator. The rhyme and rhythm also nicely fit the tone and topic of the poem. |
| wildcard07 2008-05-15 ch 1, | abuseSimply profound... An oxymoron...that's what your piece is. And I love it. Impressive flow...good choice of words, appropriate division of lines, and the way you started the piece ("amazing, how a field...") really caught me at once...you have it. Keep writing pieces for the glory of God...you inspired me. |