FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| DisturbedKittenWriter 2008-05-16 ch 1,  | abuseThis is interesting. There is quite a bit of repetition, though. "he announced and smiled and then he put his hands down. The crowd clapped and smiled at his announcement. Crispan clapped his hands and smiled". 'Smiled' can easily be replaced by 'grinned'. You can also replace 'the crowd clapped and smiled' with 'the crowd cheered'. Anyways, interesting story. Good job, scott. |