FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| DisturbedKittenWriter 2008-05-16 ch 1,  | abuseIf I were you, I would continue this story. I would also rewrite the beginning to add more oomf to the characters. Also, cut out 'two hours later...'. You can say two hours later, just add it to a sentance like 'two hours later, they found themselves doing blahblahblah'. Make it sparkle, Scott! |