Share/Save/Bookmark
Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: The Skies over Egypt

DisturbedKittenWriter
2008-05-16
ch 1,
abuseIf I were you, I would continue this story. I would also rewrite the beginning to add more oomf to the characters. Also, cut out 'two hours later...'. You can say two hours later, just add it to a sentance like 'two hours later, they found themselves doing blahblahblah'. Make it sparkle, Scott!
Return to Top