awesome!

deep indeed. i'm curious as how the story will go on. please update soon! (:

Wow. Some nice writing you got there. This story really intrigues me, with the way you've set it out. Interesting,not in a bad way, but erm...ok i dunno how to explain it. but it flows, and its good. except i agree with darra - you probably need a bit more angst,for someone who's considering murdering themselves. so, i don't know. think up of the darkest thoughts you've ever experienced, or have read about and apply it to the character so she seems a bit more...realistic? im not sure if that's the right word.
anyways, hope this review has helped...somewhat.
can't wait for the next update!!

Overall, I think, if anything, this story started good and got better. I could really feel the emotion in this chapter- the resentment of her father being gone all the time, her annoyance with her mother's T.V. shows, and most of all, her regret at leaving Lills behind. I like your writing style here, the calender was a nice touch. I especially liked the colors- the red X, the white lily, and the orange glow. Don't know if I was supposed to notice but... I liked it. :)

Another suggestion- do you think, even though this is supposed to be a journal, you could give one chapter in Lills's POV? I'd like to see you expand her as a character- from the seemingly rather flat, always happy kid, to maybe a kid that knows and understands more than she lets on...? I don't know...

Nice work, update soon!

-Darri

I really like this story a lot. Also I must say that PiratesSuck is an a-hole. It is not polite to say mean things like your story suck. BELIEVE ME it didn't suck. I will read the next chapter sometime tomorrow. Good work.

Awesome beginning!

PiratesSuck-

In your rude and, I must say, rather unoriginal flame below, (yes, unoriginal- I think I've read the same words used in flames about twenty times now... you don't really have any right to be flaming someone because their writing isn’t creative) I must point out a mistake, because its going to bug me if I don’t-

You spelled seriously wrong.

Really, if you’re going to flame someone, at least give them the slightest courtesy of spelling everything right. Jeez.

Wow, I just flamed a flame… weird…

Now, dark-hearted-rose-

I thought this was very good. It flowed nicely, and the only complaint I have is that it’s a little light- not dark enough. I mean, you have a girl that’s planning to kill herself the next day. I think she’d be a little less, well… normal, really. I hope I don’t sound mean, but a person planning to take their own life needs to be at least a little crazy… right? Or is it the calm-before-the-storm type thing? If you’re continuing this (and I hope you are) I’d add just a little more angst- not too much, but not too little, either. These types of stories tend to be the hardest to write- you have to be emotional without coming across as over-the-top. Sorry if I annoyed you with my ranting (and flaming of the flamer) but I’ve seen so many of these guys lately, and they’re really starting to bug me.

Happy Writing!

-Darri

I really like this.
it's really realistic and I'm really looking forward to reading more of it.
x

interesting, very. i like the sitcom reference. yays to you! please update soon?

OK, so there are tons of things that make me want to puke as I read this low-life thing you call a story. For starters...it sucks. I mean seriousley...I think someone with a crappy penname as you would at least have DECENT writing. You're pathetic. And it's not even original. I have seen so many things that are similar to yours that it's npt even funny. In fact, I have seen so many stories and books like yours that I can probably sue you for plagerism because I've seen so much of woe-is-me-I'm-about-to-do-suicide things. Writing is NOT your career I can tell you that. Plus, the Brady Bunch? Out of all the families you could have ripped off and made fun of you choose them? Boring. really original...-rolls eyes- I feel bad for your english teacher...I really do. I swear to you that if I could bless any body on Earth it would be that sad sad thing that SUPPOSEDLY teaches you because he/she has to read your bad writing.

I always will think Pirates was a horrible movie rip off,
Me