Reviews for The Shores of Naraway Fae

Hed in the Cloudz
2008-05-24
ch 1,

I like the small story in this poem, especially how you've dragged a small scene into a much longer one, as if to emphasize how important it is in the lives of those involved. I also like the repetition quite a bit-- it keeps the time-long-past mood throughout the poem, which is awesome!
I'm kind of confused, though. I'm assuming that the sailor and his bride end up on the "faraway shores of Naraway Fae", but you never come out and say that, and I wish you would. It would only take a stanza, or even a line, to prove that this is an example or whatever.
Also, I don't like that you use the word "state" in the fourth stanza. It's a pet peeve of mine, I guess-- but the word is so devoid of emotion that it simply can't fit in a poem! It ruined an otherwise great line for me.
Great poem! Thanks for letting me read your work!
--Yna, from the Review Marathon (see the link in my profile!)

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