Oh, btw, the percent signs don't show on FictionPress

This is really interesting. I'll keep on reading. Good job!

Very good, you use the italic font well. I think the best thing for you to do is revise chapters one and two to make them as good as three and four.

Much better then the last two chapters. Though I still suggest you give the story a title that will draw in readers. Hope this review helps.

Break up dialogue better. It makes it hard for the reader to tell who is speaking. Other then that not too bad.

This could be really good. If you really make the story through a soldiers eyes this will be gold. Though two concerns, the story needs a name. Something that can grab readers attention as do chapter titles.