Reviews for Stratford - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Stratford

Imalefty 2008-05-25 ch 1,	abusestraight from the review marathon! (link in profile) your first line is written twice... not sure if you wanted that, but just to let you know - it looks kinda weird. XD i really liked the images - they were really nice and unique... and how this is vague enough to have multiple interpretations, but specific enough so as not to confuse the reader. good job! keep writing! -Lefty
Kyllorac 2008-05-25 ch 1,	abuseAnd then BURST into SPLIT-ENDS of the soul. - This line seems to just jump in out of nowhere. Is it something this "you" is saying, or is it something they are doing? This isn't entirely clear, and it completely threw me off. So you danced, jump swing - You change tenses here, and it also threw me off. Is this all happening in the past or present? Overall, if creating an air of muddled confusion was your goal, you've succeeded. If it wasn't, you might want to look at matching up your tenses and clarifying what things are actions and what are being spoken. - Kylie from the Review Marathon (link in my profile)
The Un-great-ful 2008-05-25 ch 1,	abuseIT has potential, I can see that. The melodious nature of the piece mixed with its imagery was, ah, how can I put this. . . I don't know, I hate to use the word "nice", but I feel I have little choice. There was just something wrong with it, a bit like that walk home after a night out where you've overdone it by a few pints and reality is just a bit too blurry and two-dimensional. Maybe I read it wrongly, twice, but I don't think I did. I just feel that there was something in the twine of the structure that broke it to pieces where it should have been smooth, like commas in the middle of words if you can grasp the analogy. Shame, I could see where you were going with this and it would have been lovely if the ride wasn't so bumpy. Peace, keep writing :) Alan.

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