is this the last the last chapter

nice story!

This is really good! The only flaws I've found are missing words here and there (you might want to read through the chapters slowly), and in this chapter, this word mixup/typo: "a viscous killing machine". I believe you mean "vicious", not "viscous". I'm pretty sure Greyson isn't a sticky, gluey-like killing machine. Lol! Keep up the awesome writing!

Cliffe! I am in love with this story so much!

-Flick

Whoa! A few grammer mistakes but other than that...

AWSOME!

"it always left be feeling cranky and exhausted"

Shouldn't it be "it always left me feeling"... Just thought I would point that out.


A really great chapter; not too rushed, not too slowed. Great job.

-Flick

This is a really great start to a hopefully great story! I couldn't find anything to pick at because I was to enthrilled with it. I think that you have a realy talent. Kudoos to you!!

-Flick

Love the story =D
although the story progressed a bit faster
than i would have liked, but
im off to the sequel now :D

hey there! i just wanted to point out that you have a spelling error near the end of the page, it's actually
"vicious" :)

The premise of this story is SO similar to Robin McKinley's Sunshine, have you read it? It's remarkably identical to it: the main character as a baker, the distrust of vampires, the small-town setting, the Otherworld Justice Division--if you haven't read it you should check it out!

The whole story is amazing. I enjoyed every bit of it. Thank you for not having them go at it like hormonal teenagers from the very beginning. Many people on this site lack the ability to develop anything prior to physical relationships and your writing is a very fortunate exception.

The writing and humor are brilliant as well. You describe things enough to make it seem real without going into overflowing details about every aspect of a scene. Overall, great job and I can't wait to read more of your work!

Wonderful story!

Great story so far!

only read the first chapter so far..
and i gotta say, ur story reminds me of Sunshine by Robin Mckinley (which happens to be one of my fav. books)
I'm not refering to the plot (it wouldn't be fair to comment on that having read chapter 1 only), but the universe..
However, I doubt the story heads in the same direction as the novel. Really look forward to finishing this.

Hm...I may be imagining these vamps as uglier than they are lol. Huh, grey eyes doesn't seem too bad though...guess I'll find out in a moment.