haha...really good story! I'll never look at McDonald's the same way again.

Keep on writing!

Midnight-Wolfe

It was a good horror story. Good job.

I liked the story. That would have been awful to fall into the vat. That makes me glad I don't eat McDonalds that much!

That was a sad pathetic thing you call a story, it had no plot, no conflict...it just sucked and was too short.

Interesting story, but I feel like it was lacking something. There was the twist end, but it lacked impact. This is a good length for a story, but it needed more detail in the plot. Maybe if you had built up to it a little more the ending could be a great twist.

Keep writing and have fun

The ending was very abrupt. It was suprising, but it was just like.

"So I was changing a tired, then someon came up and killed me."


Your progression is way too fast. Try and slow it down, captivate your reader, and make it suspensful.

~Laeden