FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Lady Fingers 2008-09-13 ch 1,  | abuseat first i was apprehensive at reading this in block form, but it works perfectly. sometimes poem/prose take on a form of their own, and the block form works well. it is really beautifully written and each word seems effortless. I feel like you flowed through this without having to think twice, because thats just how talented you really are. |
| AntiPleasure 2008-06-04 ch 1, | abuseProse is a great way to get words out, beautiful images in this. |
| kloun mannequin 2008-06-03 ch 1, | abuseit's like an essay, I think it'd be a great story, the idea is nice. |
| ScarletDreamer 2008-06-02 ch 1, | abuseSuch a lovely piece. :) I think you did wonderful with the experimentation! |
| Isca 2008-05-28 ch 1, | abuseScarlett, You should write more prose. You write it well! :) |
| Starfire17 2008-05-28 ch 1, | abuseI loved this. It's so descriptive and I could completely imagine the scene as the prose continued. I haven't seen this format before much but I think it was definitely a success. Wonderfully vivid! |
| Midnight In Eden 2008-05-27 ch 1, | abuseTo be honest, this feels much more prosaic than poetic. I know it's a hard line to tread but this reads like an prose exercise in which you merely explored a scene using in-depth imagery. It's hard to mimic poetic language in a prose structure but I think you could condense this a little and inject more of a poetic voice into it, you might tip the balance from prosaic to poetic. I know it's difficult because I've tried to do the same before and once took about eight drafts to get the right balance. Good luck, Midnight |
| Tranquil Thorns 2008-05-27 ch 1, | abuseBeautiful descriptions and choice of words. I notice that you have a couple of longer sentences, and I like how you still make them flow and not sound choppy. That can be difficult to do sometimes, and I had no trouble keeping up with this. The last sentence is breathtaking but sad. Powerful ending. |
| fallenflame13 2008-05-27 ch 1, | abuseBravo! Good job with the imagery in this, I could see the pathway like you described it. I especially liked the way you described the sea glass. Very nice work. |