I like the image of tangling smoke, because smoke is so intangible it seems impossible.

Very nice haiku. It made me think about our present day society and how all the stuff that's wrong in the world sometimes overshadows the beauty of it. I know that's not what you probably intended though. ;)

good piece, very strong.
Faith

wow this was excellent. I like how you say Eden burned. that's really great.

if you think the structure is detrimental to your message you don't have to force yourself to make it into a haiku.

it can be a failed haiku
those are just as good.

hm.
this imagery in this is intriguing.
nice job.

yours until the wind changes,
gg