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| Durak 2008-07-11 ch 1,  | abusePunctuation! I think a comma or semi-colon (preferably the latter) at the end of line two would be an improvement; and I feel like "trace" /might/ be able to use a hyphen, but I'm not sure; I still like it as is. Last line had me wondering; it read... funny. Overall, though, it was a nice little ditty. |
| Isca 2008-07-05 ch 1, | abuseGood Message. 'Begin to Be.' Good sense of angst throughout, as well. |
| Setsuna529 2008-06-15 ch 1, | abuseShort, but it says a lot. It's something I can relate to, trying to move on but still getting caught up in the past. Good job with the rhymes. :) |
| Midnight In Eden 2008-06-14 ch 1, | abuseFirst of all, I think this poem needs more punctuation to give it more rhythm and flow especially as the last period feels kind of lonely. I'd recommend periods at the end of lines two and six. I wouldn't mind some more vivid imagery though, just to give this a bit more spice. Right now it's a little flat in that department. I like the last line though, it's simple and it perfectly wraps up the idea of this poem - a great climax. Finally, check out the Review Marathon, it's a part of the Review Game - there's a link in my profile. Great way to give and receive reviews. Midnight |
| Thoughtful Silence 2008-06-14 ch 1, | abuseI really liked this. The rhyme felt natural - which is actually hard to achieve in my opinion :) - and I really liked the parallel structure of 'I'll try and fail a hundred more'. Writer's block though - it's the worst. Anyways, keep up the good work. -T.S. |
| Shakkaku 2008-06-13 ch 1, | abuseVery short, yet packed with tons of excellent description. This was magnificent, I liked it a lot. |
| B. M. Reed 2008-06-12 ch 1, | abuseVery true, and really real. Yay! |
| Ashelin 2008-06-12 ch 1, | abuseI understand desperation when it comes to writer's block. You begin to write things you never thought you would, and looking back you can't help but cringe in disgust that your fingers moved along the keys and formed those words. *shivers* Of course, I doubt that will happen to you. This wasn't a bad poem in any sense. Quite short, but that's not usually a bad thing. Usually it means people will be more likely to read and review. The sad reality *sigh*. It was simple, but sweet. And the sadness in it oddly had a happy tone somewhere. I know, you probably don't think so at all, but perhaps it's just the music I'm listening to. Crazy what effects sound has on poetry. But this was good. Thanks for the review by the way. Good job. |
| kloun doll 2008-06-12 ch 1, | abuseat first I thought it was a sad poem but the ending is pretty sweet. |
| Unforgettably-Uniquely Me 2008-06-10 ch 1, | abuseThis came out really good for it to be a cure for writer's block. It's simple, but has a lot of meaning behind it. I liked reading this, nice work. |
| simpleplan13 2008-06-01 ch 1, | abuseI like this. It's very bittersweet and relateable. Really great piece. Thanks for your review! |
| Katterree Fengari 2008-05-31 ch 1, | abuseIt feels rather sonnet like, but it's rather refreshing. The couplets are nice; it's a good rhythm. If you do much reading, find an anthology with sonnets by Lady Mary Wroth. |
| East-0f-Eden 2008-05-28 ch 1, | abusegood rhyme scheme. |
| mizzmaryelizabeth 2008-05-28 ch 1, | abuseI like it. Looks like something good came out of your writer's block. |