Okay, where do I start? This is wonderful! I love how you started the chapter with him trying to decide where his childhood ended/started and then the last sentence bringing it together. Very good! You are a terrific writer. But you know how I feel about profanity. Keep it integral to the story. I think you are a brilliant, talented writer. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story. You have me hooked!

ok. so i love it. the end. its amazing. ^^

Dear Julian Read,

I think you should update ASAP.
Why? Because this story is brilliant. Mythe is so complex but not, he's perfect but broken. You know what I mean? (I'm guessing you do, you did after all make him up.)
So really now all I can do is sit back and check back every day in the hopes that you've updated. Hopefully you will :) and soon, too (although, I know how difficult it is to keep the chapters rolling out.)

Sincerely,
Strawbury Duck.

I like how Mythe is writing as an adult but still retains the child-like perspective when he's writing about being in the hospital. Yeah. If that makes any sense at all. lol.

The following is NOT critique, it's strictly my opinion. Jut to let ya know.

One thing I didn't like was all the cursing. For one thing, that's just kind of my taste-- I don't like cursing. Even if it's exactly what the character would say and might even be out of character for them not to say it, I still don't like it. It makes them seem really... uneducated? Like that's they only way that they know how to convey their emotion. Because they lack a better word, they use a curse word. And it makes me not want to take them seriously.

For another thing, Tristan doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would swear like that in front of his son. *shrugs* I dunno. Maybe he is.

Then again, I'm probably the only one in a million people that cares if there's cursing. lol.

^^ I like this chapter. I like Dr.Lancaster allot. I've always found Mythe kind of irritating, but he's still a great character because he seems so real.

I really, really, really, really enjoyed reading this. The story and characters are intriguing. I will say that while the structure, writing style, and subject matter are reminiscent of James Frey's A Million Little Pieces, it still has an air of originality. Really great writing. You should keep going.

This was a really well written piece, I can tell you've spent a lot of time on it. You've really captured, without going into too much detail, what it would be like to be in rehab and also the idea of having an addiction. By keeping it simple it stopped me getting confused. I read this piece quite quickly which is a sign of good writing!

I have some suggestions:

In the first sentence of the 12:46 section, you dont really need to say “she looked over my made-up dream from earlier”. I think its obvious that she is the therapist who wants to read the diary and the reader already knows that its made up.

When Dr. Lancaster says: “whether you're ready to go back out into the real world.” - I'm not sure psychologists would be allowed to say 'real word', but it is OK when Mythe says it, it makes him seem quite cynical about the whole situation. When patients are released from Psychiarty Hospitals (can't remember the official term) they are termed as being in 'remission'.

I loved the older version but this one seems more mature, if that makes sense! Can't wait to see where you're taking this!