A nice feely piece. I'm just not sure about how you divided one of the verses:

"As though they possessed the candour of

Thine eyes! I lament the heirless King"

I'm not sure why you moved "Thine eyes!" to the next verse cause ending a verse with "of" doesn't come of right to me. It's possible I'm not reading it correctly and I appologize if that's the case, just that you put effort into reviewing my story so I thought I'd off some helpful critique if I could.

beautifully written.