I think the image you've chosen of water was quite apt in ways which you might not have necessarily intended. Water itself drains warth, it drains energy... which fit really well with the idea that the stasis eats at you.

The first two images were ones that immedately struck me: the idea of life pausing for breath (why would it do that? What effect has it?) and then silence being a surge. Even before I see the image of a wave, just the idea of it being this damp and heavy thing (like a blanket) fit so well with how silence can be.

you've managed to extend the metaphor really well. It didn't once seem to drag or dry up. Well done

"Bumps goes a log." The word 'bump' was incredibly powerful in this piece. I could practically feel the character 'bump' because of the water's current. That's the sign of a great writer!
The first stanza was particularly well-written.
GOOD WORK! :)

"Life pauses for breath, and the surge
Of silence, damp and heavy,
Sweeps the shores"

"As usual, the way things flow
Like the current of the sea, dragging."


BEAUTIFUL.
Can I marry this?