Wow. This was really good. You're a wonderful writer!

God, you've got to stop saying that! Damn it, girl, your cutting edge fatal--dangerous. Write it--give it--screw the insecurities. Listen to your reviews. Listen to the words pouring from you. WRITE your truth. The world needs truth and art.

McKinley

Hmm... yeah, this is not your best work, but I'm not sure why, because it's written well, just a typo or two (first line should say "basketballs lay" not "lays"), and I like the imagery of drawing the heart with the cigarette.

the "adam's apple" threw me off, since guys are associated with that, not girls, and the narrator is named "alice" so I was initially read this from a guy's perspective, but then, when I saw "alice" I realized it was a girl. However, from your pen name and profile, maybe that was the effect you were going for?

Either way, it's better than what I could probably do.

I liked it. lol. I thought it was good :) Keep it up!
Faith

I think you're much MUCH better when you're writting with a male mind/voice. (Does that make sense?) You don't write about girls very well. Same goes for me. But that's just my suggestion. Stick with a guy narrator. I still enjoy most of your stuff.