|Reviews for Home Lost, Home Again|
| Solemn Coyote 6/25/08 . chapter 1
Thank you for the favorites listing. It's always nice to know that someone enjoyed reading one of my stories. Flattering and all.
So, here's my review in return:
1)"Home is burnt the ground; there’s only ash and rubble left.
Oh, I say, I guess we’re late, but you’re crying and can’t hear me," This poem follows a sort of dream-logic. Oh, home's burnt down? No biggie.
I kinda like it.
2)"We leave the city on the second day; pretty boys thought you were a hooker." Simple lines, but some of them pack a deceptive punch.
3)"Shut, you say, the hell up and let me sleep." Great line breaks. It staggers the poem a bit. Throws the reader off their usual rhythm. Normally, I'd advise against anything that disrupts the reader's focus, but I'm willing to make a huge exception if it also makes the reader think.
4)"You heard there was nice, quaint village in the middle of the north forest." It too me a long, long time to finally pin this poem down as fantasy. Even now, I'm not so sure. 'Royal' and 'village' seem to fit with that concept, but they could just as easily be a reflection of the way the main character sees the world. I really like this ambiguity.
5)"You get me to agree to go back to the hotel within the hour.
The lemonade was pretty good though." There you go, making me think again. Whatever world this poem is set in, I like the blend of traditional medieval islands-of-civilization-surrounded-by-wilderness fantasy and you-can-always-get-there-from-here modernity.
6)...great poem. I'm almost loathe to admit it, because it doesn't try to pull anything fancy and still outshines me. There's a lot of story to it and, even though it feels like you're done telling it-that you've exhausted the words for the time being-I find myself wanting to hear more.
Basically, well done. And thank you again for reading my stuff.