I enjoyed this, it flowed well, but also felt kind of shaky, like that's what the narrator is feeling right now. You conveyed a feeling very well here, and i like the way you formatted this. Nice work.
~403F

oh wow...i can really relate to this one...

nice piece...

you have a gift with words

i liked the flow of the poem very much.

word choices were great.(:

This is good and I liked the rhyming. I also liked the subject it's different and the feeling was displayed well in your words. Good job!

I'm the kind of person who has a lot of fear, so I can relate to the poem, at the same time I wanna see things too.

Out of everything you've written, this is my favorite. I can relate to it 100% and the rhythm is pretty awesome for the most part, not nearly as shaky as others seem to think it is. -_-;

The rhythm here is okay, but it's very shaky. I understand how important different word choices are, but rhyming and rhythm go hand in hand, so you can't neglect either. The last four lines were excellent in word choice, but shaky in rhythm; regardless, I found the rhyming superb. Be careful when rhyming; it can tear a poem apart or actually make something really beautiful. Consider that.

Other than that, this was very good. Your words were surprisingly vivid for a rhyming poem. Just consider the meter and rhythm a little more next time. Great job.

You have created something haunting and beautiful that is more incredible and real than the entire warriors series put together.

I like it. I hope a knight in shining armor comes to her rescue. :-)

Some one will! I promise once the day comes! I get way to involved into these poems!

Wow, this is amazing, you did an awesome job writing that.
Very well done. Keep it up
~ Neteri Bennu