|Reviews for Who Are You?|
| Wasted Days 2/18/10 . chapter 1
Overall I liked it. I enjoyed the rhyme scheme, especially near the end because it was there, but subtle enough so as to not overpower the entire poem. And I've always liked the hidden message quality that you've conveyed. It leaves everything up to interpretation, which is nice because it personalizes the poem to the reader. When reading it I thought that the person feels alone to the point that they have actually retreated inside their own mind, but I saw that someone else left a review saying that they were reminded of an imaginary friend.
However, there were some lines that I thought could have been phrased differently to help the flow. "You've become part of my hopes and dreams" was the most major line that didn't seem quite right, but I'm not sure how you could say it differently.
The only other part that bothered me was the second to last stanza. To balance the syllables you could say:
Maybe you’re a lost soul
Wishing to be free
Maybe you’re an angel
Watching over me
It’s just a personal preference of mine, nothing to worry about.
Overall it was a good piece, myfavorite one of yours.
| Mirabella 9/16/09 . chapter 1
So sweet and beautiful.
I like the idea of having a guardian/watching angel. :)
| Lime-Cat 7/18/09 . chapter 1
I found this poem to be quite interesting because there's something like a hidden message or riddle in the poem itself. I can see why you categorized this poem under Fantasy because I can see one of two scenarios - either the friend referenced at the end of this poem is an imaginary friend or fantasy is his/her friend. Very interesting, indeed.
I like the end slant rhyme scheme because it's good for the rhythm of this poem and it's not too overpowering. I have seen some end rhyme poems that make me focus too much on the rhyme scheme instead of the subject of the poem. For your poem, I acknowledged the rhyming, but that wasn't the main focus of your poem - something I appreciated. :)
I didn't particularly like the line "You've become part of my hopes and dreams" because it was a bit long. Is there another way of phrasing this line to have it shorter?
Spreading review love one review at a time from the Review Marathon - kindly sponsored by the Review Game. (link in profile)
| Princess-anna57 7/3/09 . chapter 1
Very good piece, great rhythm. Well done. :) Keep writing!
PS thanks for reading my poems :)
| Peyton Westlake 6/12/09 . chapter 1
Good, but very disturbing. Reminds me of something Edgar Allen Poe would think or write.
| chromo freak 5/3/09 . chapter 1
I really like the whole idea of this poem, something nice to read, refreshing, nice work.
| The-Golden-Hour 3/29/09 . chapter 1
who are you?
such a good question, i would like the answer to..Dx
| Starfire17 6/11/08 . chapter 1
I really liked this. What a nice concept and excellent structure to go with it. Good job!
| kloun mannequin 6/11/08 . chapter 1
the part of knowing it's there even if you haven't seen it, it scares a bit, but the last verse is so cute.
| AK the Twilight 6/9/08 . chapter 1
The rhymes (aside from the fourth stanza's reuse of the word "up") were quite creative and consistent, a difficult feat in modern poetry. The last stanza is a bit shaky when it comes to rhythm, but you really put some effort into the rhymes, which can either make or break a poem.
I like this poem, despite its sense of romantic renovation, and it was an interesting read all in all.
| Azura Aozora 6/8/08 . chapter 1
I couldn't resist - I had to read at least one before I go to bed. This poem makes me think of song lyrics. My absolute favourite parts are the first and sixth stanza - they just flow so beautifully and create such a vivid picture for me. It's a great poem, and there are certain themes/aspects of it that I really relate to. Great job!
| Thoughtful Silence 6/8/08 . chapter 1
I really liked this. The rhyme scheme was simple, but effective, and I liked the air of mystery that laced the words. Anyways, good job on this.
| Particularly Clementine 6/8/08 . chapter 1
I love this poem. And you start it out really well - catching my interest after the first 2 lines. My favorite part is the last two verses. :-)
| Ashelin 6/7/08 . chapter 1
I liked the rhyme scheme. This seems really spiritual, but you putting it under fantasy makes it out to be more...craziness or fanatical thinking or something. But it's sort of toned down, so it's really soft. Great job.
| MacNWoody 6/7/08 . chapter 1
I like this one, its really uplifting, _