Hm, dunno why but this bit reminded me somehow of Naruto a little... anyways, I'll get on with the review:

I realised that you over write. Here is an example of what I mean:
[I don’t know why, but suddenly I feel vulnerable, as if every mask I tried to hide behind is stripped of my being and I can no longer lie to the world. I feel like a wounded heart that is cut open and bleeding, spilling its secrets to the world.] - Okay, firstly you state you feel vulnerable, then you back it up with what you feel... but you are, in the end, repeating yourself, for how many times? three? That's too many. Sometimes short sentences work better than long flowery stuff.

Consider: [I don't know why, I feel like my masks are stripped from me. I am vulnerable.] Or something similiar.

You see, when you said mask, it was imply 'hiding' already so you didn't actually have to talk about hide. "stripped" is very good, a very strong verb, and this comes to my second point. Too many strong verbs close together actually dulls the reader's senses. "Vulnerable" "strip" "Hide" "wound", possibly even "heart", "spill" ect. If you want to have so many strong verbs, be aware that you might take away the overall effect when you do so.

All and all, this was an enjoyable chapter, really, and I do look forwards to your next, whenever that will be. I like the inruging plot you've able to brew up, and I do want to see more of this done.
Narq.
P.S. PM me if I have been vague in explaining things.

Awkward? Not reeally, I felt you actually baited the readers quite well with that little paragraph there. I do want to read on, so I think you did do well.

Narq.

Oh, please update, even though I know you haven't in like, a year XD

Love the writing style; love the plot; love the characters. :)

- aTea

What is it with me and not reading the last chapte ryou posted of stuff recently! Geez! Sorry about that, I'm really anticipating this story. Since you finished Caged Bird, Id like to know when you're going to post more on this story again! I look forward to your updates!

This was a great chapter with spectacular description. I'm glad that it's not another NARUTO-type fiction like most of the others around here. Definitely original, brutal and to the point. I can't wait for more!

This is very ingenious. I never would have thought about anything like this. I definitely want to read more!

This was a very good first chapter. It holds a really good setting and flows well from the introduction. I really liked it! Hope to see this one updated one day. Not rushing you though, I know life gets very busy sometimes. But this was a really enjoyable work. Good job on your 1st Person POV!

Very unique introduction. Its short and leaves you waiting for more detail about the characters. I am going on to the next chapter now to find out more!

You're the bomb!
Woah! I really like this one!
~going on my favs.
Ja ne!
Hope you can update soon.

Well, actually, it's alright to use present tense to tell your story as long as you're consistent with it. That said, this is a really, really good story. You're right, it is way different from most ninja stories, especially the Naruto influenced ones. It's good and unique, a refreshing change from most other stories. It's darker, grittier and smacks more of realism instead of the universal Naruto ninjutsu you see everyday.

You said you didn't have Microsoft Word, right? So I won't point out the errors this time. I think you'll be able to spot them as soon as you get Microsoft Word.

Until then!

I like this, it has alot of potential.
Yodomari and Nana will be a interesting and lethal duo.

I promise to read your other stories later!

The Demon loveless

Even if POV isn't your strong point, it doesn't seem to matter here because you can pull it off wonderfully. I like how we're able to get inside of a cold assassin's mind and wonder what he thinks, especially when it comes down to contemplation on the young and innocent.

Do continue this work soon. I'd like to see it go somewhere besides on haitus. T_T

I like your definition on the different representations of the letter X. Many of them, I wouldn't have thought of at all and I must say that I'm amazed by your writing technique and unique spin on something so simple.

A definite favorite from me.

I love this story. It's really awesome xD. I like Yodomari, he's an interesting character. And Nana is too. I wonder what will happen next. Update soon. :D

i hope you update soon. i want to know what happens to nana and what yodomari will do with his newly found weapon. they are very cute together and i like his dark attitude. youre really good at pov stories!