I saw your ad on the skow awards group and took a look. :)

Aside from some weird quotation mark characters and the uncapitalized i(s), I think you've got the technical stuff down pat. The dialogue works too. I think you have a good grasp of character and plot but you forget that the readers don't know as much as you do. I don't get a good sense of the situation or the importance of some of the characters. Who is Dale? Brian Hastings? What happened to Landen? The break-up at the end of the prologue is a really emotional scene but I don't understand enough about the characters to feel Del's sadness. I think you can use the advantages of first person narration more...let Del explain what is happening and how she feels about it. Let her talk.

whoa...confusing plot, girl! And you're going round and round and round...
I'm confused. Is she living with Landen? Is she in college or high school (you mentioned SCHOOLwork) Wow...you need to elaborate on this plot, yeah?