"The bride sat in the chair in front of the mirror, the maids fiddling with her hair, twisting it into curls that would rival the goddess of beauty, Aphrodite, filling her hair with fresh flowers brought by Antheia, goddess of flowers" This is an incredibly long sentence, and I think it should be three - "The bride sat in the chair in front of the mirror, the maids fiddling with her hair. They twisted it into curls that would rival the goddess of beauty, Aphrodite. They filled her hair with fresh flowers brought by Antheia, goddess of flowers." The repetitive emphasis on the goddesses shows how they all had a hand in the wedding - it's a nice touch! :D But you just need to break it up into several sentences.

"to the garden were all were gathered" should be where.

I wish you had shown more of the ceremony, or gone through all the gods that were participating in preparing the man, just like you did with the woman and the goddesses - it would have been a nice touch.

"the ground she had grew up with but her husband had not prevailed" I'm confused. He had not prevailed? But it just said that he had taken her to his home.

"love that the two could share without secretes" secrets doesn't have that extra e.

The ending was a little too swift.

This story has a nice plot, and reads like a fairytale or an old legend. I wish you could flesh it out into a good full-length story so that the characters could be given a chance to have depth. I would like to know the circumstances of why the children were taken. I like the part about the rose at the end - I never would have thought of it having so many blood symbols in it. Great job!

-Jesse
Attack of the review marathon! (link in my profile)

Interesting. That was a nice story, like one of the folk tales you would find in a literature book. Very good!

very interesting, I really like it